Assertiveness

What is it?

Assertiveness measures whether people are inclined to proactively assume wide responsibility, take charge, and lead others. A notably assertive individual is convinced that she/he should be in charge, and that both individual and group outcomes will be optimized when she/he is granted group-level decision making discretion, leadership status, authority to delegate, and authority to set or heavily influence organizational objectives.

As such, high Assertiveness might be characterized, at least in part, as self efficacy for leadership in general (Amos & Klimoski, 2014). High Assertiveness scorers may also be seen as confident, aggressive, and decisive, while low scorers are likely perceived as tentative, passive, reserved, or indecisive and more comfortable deferring to and following the lead of other individuals or groups.

An assertive leader is someone who communicates clearly and confidently, while respecting the needs and opinions of others. They are self-aware, goal-oriented, and skilled problem-solvers who inspire confidence in their team members and achieve results through collaboration and cooperation.

Assertiveness involves:

  1. Clarity: Clearly expressing needs, ideas, and expectations.

  2. Confidence: Maintaining self-assurance even in challenging interactions.

  3. Respect: Balancing self-advocacy with empathy and consideration for others.

  4. Boundaries: Setting and maintaining healthy limits to avoid burnout or exploitation.

In leadership, assertiveness ensures that decisions and directives are communicated effectively, fostering mutual respect and trust across teams.

How might you develop it?

Developing assertiveness can be challenging for shy or introverted leaders, but it is certainly possible. Here are some tips:

  1. Practice active listening: Being a good listener is an important aspect of assertiveness. Take the time to really listen to what others are saying, and respond thoughtfully and respectfully

  2. Use "I" statements: When expressing your thoughts or opinions, use "I" statements instead of "you" statements. This helps to convey your message without sounding accusatory or confrontational

  3. Take small steps: Start by practicing assertiveness in low-risk situations, such as expressing your opinion in a small group setting or asking for clarification on a task. As you become more comfortable, gradually take on more challenging situations

  4. Set boundaries: Assertiveness also means setting boundaries and saying "no" when necessary. Practice setting boundaries in a respectful way that communicates your needs while still respecting the needs of others

  5. Seek feedback: Ask for feedback from colleagues or an executive coach to help identify areas for improvement and track your progress

  6. Develop your confidence: Work on building your confidence through activities such as public speaking, networking, and seeking out new challenges. Practice positive self-talk and focus on your strengths and accomplishments

Remember that developing assertiveness is a process that takes time and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate your successes along the way.

Key References and Research on Assertiveness

  1. Books:

    • "When I Say No, I Feel Guilty" by Manuel J. Smith: A foundational book on assertiveness training.

    • "Crucial Conversations" by Kerry Patterson et al.: Provides tools for assertive and impactful dialogue in high-stakes situations.

    • "Radical Candor" by Kim Scott: A guide for leaders on balancing assertiveness with care in delivering feedback.

    • "The Assertiveness Workbook" by Randy J. Paterson: A practical guide to building assertiveness through evidence-based techniques.

  2. Key Research:

    • Albert Mehrabian’s Communication Model: Explores the balance of verbal and nonverbal cues in assertive communication.

    • Psychology Today Studies: Regularly highlights the mental health and leadership benefits of assertiveness.

    • "The Dynamics of Assertiveness" by C. R. Hargie: Examines assertiveness in professional communication and its role in workplace success.

  3. Publications:

    • Harvard Business Review: Articles like "How Assertiveness Shapes Leadership" explore the balance between assertiveness and overbearing leadership styles.

    • McKinsey Quarterly: Discusses assertiveness as a key trait in navigating organizational conflict.

    • Forbes Leadership Column: Features tips for developing assertive leadership behaviors.

  4. Podcasts:

    • "The Look & Sound of Leadership" by Tom Henschel: Episodes like "Being Assertive Without Being a Jerk" focus on developing assertiveness while maintaining empathy.

    • "Coaching for Leaders" by Dave Stachowiak: Offers practical advice on assertiveness in communication and decision-making.

    • "The Confidence Podcast" by Trish Blackwell: Addresses assertiveness as part of building self-confidence and resilience.